parkplace's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Whoever Said That Ignorance Is Bliss Is Ignorant Listening To: As Lovers Go by Dashboard Confessional My summer is gone. It hit me. Less then two whole fucking weeks and its over. Sophmore year and I'll be miserable. This summer was fun. No regrets. I feel like I have grown alot since the begining of freshman year. There has been alot I've learned about my friends. For example, people call Bens house to make plans, maybe even go to his house without an invitation. Another thing I have learned about my buddies is that none of them are close to me. None of them consider me their best friend, which I think is...okay, 'cause obviosly their is someone who is a better friend then me. I'm not the greatest friend. I'm too blunt. I'm too ignorant. I assume. I react. I just suck basically. Yeah, I'm on my medication, which makes me irratble and I get annoyed by everything that I do. I am so annoying somtimes that get annoyed with myself. Now that I think of it, I seriously don't understand why my friends are still my friends. Why didn't Ben just give up on me when I bitched about him for so long? Why doesn't Kelly contsntly be a bitch to me? I am not that great of a friend and I used to say that I did so much for them out of total ignorance. I did nothing for them. I thought of myself as an amazing friend. I was and I still am nothing. Why doesn't my friends just give up on me? What is there to me that they like? I dunno, but I thank god that they haven't given up on be friends with me, 'cause without them, I am nothing. nothing at all. I have learned this summer that I should be a nicer person and I should seriously consider everyones point of view when I get into fights, so when I do get into fights, I'm not as ignorant. I am nothing. I haven't had a serious girlfriend, I have never fallen in love. I think it's 'cause I am too much for a girl. I think a girl would just get sick of me. I dunno if I would be a good boyfriend. I wish I knew. I need to hang out with my friends tonight. I wanna go make a little "good-bye Summer" shindig type thing. But now that I think of it, I don't really want to considering the fact that last time I made a shindig, Ben fucking annoyed the shit out of me and kelly and i got into a big fight. I dunno what I am gunna do. I am confused and annoyed and irritated 'cause of my Aderal XR. Gotta remember the XR or else people might not know that if I take my medication after 12:00 P.M, them I get insomnia and I wont be able to fall asleep untill 2:300 in the morning! Oh god do I fucking hate myself right now. 6:41 p.m. - 08-23-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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