parkplace's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I Ran A 6:44 Mile Today Listening To: Soco Ameretto Lime by Brand New Oh fuck it. Tonight can't get anymore depressing. I just want to run away from my home. My life. I want to run so fast and so far and forget about everything and run away and just restart my life. I ruined it. My life is like a bad quiz, but this time, I can't just drop the lowest grade. Oh I just wanna wrap my arms around her and I want her to know that I have feelings for her now. Screw everything. She is the only one who knows me. She knows me and the best thing is that she understands me. I don't need to explain with reason to her and I want her for keeps. Oh fuck it. Depression sucks. I honestly think I could be manic depressive because one second I am wicked happy and having the time of my life and then another second I could be down on the ground. Out for the count and nobody wants to pick me up anymore. Nobody cares anymore and ironically enough I am not doing anything for the attention anymore. I am real. The boy who cries wolf and the first impression is the lasting impression. Oh you fucking bastards. I care about all of you. Oh fuck it. I am just finding a reason for all my anger with no motiv. Maybe it's stress from school. Maybe it's my friends or lack of real ones. No one consideres me a best friend. I don't even have a best friend. I fucking hate this. I just wanna run. I wanna get away from this costal town and away from my room with the insatiable oceanview. I wanna run to any place but I just don't wanna be here. I don't care if this doesn't make any sense to anyone but it does to me. This is my diary anyway, so you shouldn't understand it if your don't. Oh fuck it. I want somone. I want her. I want her more then I have ever wanted something in my life. Why can't somone take me serious without talking behind my back or laughing in my face!? Can you tell me the fucking answer to that!? WHY!! Oh god I fucking hate this. My boring life. My boring fucking good-for-nothing life. I am going no where fast and I hate every single second of it. 10:36 p.m. - 09-17-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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