parkplace's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Peeping Tom Listening To: Nothing Okay. This is another post-regretable entry. I am just feeling really shitty right now. I wrote another entry before this, so if you haven't read this one, read the previous one before this. I am just going to say it how I percieve it as and whatever it is in reality please tell me: Reading a friends diary, I realized that I have never been in my friends loop. That's Ben, Chuck, Julia, Mike. Four. Yeah, I have been close to it, but I was never apart of it. I am never as close as I see them be to eachother. Maybe it's because I go to a differen't school. But that isn't the case because of Mike. He doesn't go to the same school as Ben, Chuck, and Julia. I wish I could be written about in diaries on how I have been a good friend. Ben has this entry in his diary. I'm the only person not in that list of friends he thanks and I think it is just me that nobody feels close to. I know all your diaries by the way and I know it may seems strange that I might know them, but we all know eachothers. See, I think that people wouldn't care if Julia knew about their diary, but they would care if I know about their diary. It's that whole trust thing. People can trust Julia, they can't trust me. I don't know why though, it's not like I have lied to anyone or have told anybody secrets that have been told to me. People can trust me, I just give off that immature and annoying emotion that is a turn off when it comes to being a close friend. And it's not like I try to give that emotion to people. I can't help it and that sucks the big one. I don't think anyone would like to be stuck with me on an island. I wish I was wrong and I hope I am. But I doubt it. I don't know what I could do to fix this problem. Maybe it isn't a problem. Maybe it is just me. I just don't want Ben's or Julia's or Chuck's children to see all these pictures of them and they find one photo of me and the children will have to ask who the hell I am. I want people to know who I am. I don't want this entry to get stale or anything. I just wanna say to you guys that I am all out there. This whole thing is really rackin my brain. I just wanna be closer to everyone. I really don't wanna hear about stuff you guys did from another friend. I don't want to be on the outside looking in. Please help an amigo on this. Please. 10:17 p.m. - 02-20-04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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