parkplace's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It's A Bad Week I Miss My Mom Listening To: Screaming Infidelities by Dashboard Confessional I haven't listened to my Dashboard CD's for a while now. I miss my mom. The doctors discovered multiple fractures of the neck yesterday. The inguries they find a couple days after the incident are called "post-inguries." God. Just my life has been turn upside-down. After my House Burning down in December, my Aunt found dead in January, my Dog gettng hit by a truck last Wednesday, and my mother crashing her car into a tree and almost dieing on me, I have a good reason to give up on everything I care about. It's too late at night. I don't care. I don't care about anything. I went into Boston with Marisa, Julia, and Kasey today for Marisa's suprise birthday party. It was fun. But then I come home and I am typing in my fucking diary at 12:47 in the morning and realizing that the emotion of Happiness is just a temporary coating to cover my Sadness. I feel angry. I feel angry and I have no one to blame. I just want to speak to my mother! I JUST WANT TO SPEAK TO HER AND ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK IS COMING OUT OF HER MOUTH. SHE DOESN'T DESERVE THIS! FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A LONG TIME SHE WAS FINALLY STEERING HERSELF INTO THE RIGHT DIRECTION AND THEN SHE SLID ON BLACK ICE AND HIT A TREE! I JUST WANT MY MOTHER!!!!!!! I CANT EVEN DESCRIBE THE PAIN I AM FEELING RIGHT NOW! SHE IS THE PERSON I TALK TO ABOUT THIS PAIN I HAVE BUT THE REASON I HAVE THIS PAIN IS BECAUSE OF HER. BECAUSE OF HER PAIN! WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT DID SHE DO GOD! WHAT DID SHE DO! FUCKING TELL ME! I WANT A LEAST ONE ANSWER BECAUSE I HAVE ALL THESE UNANSWERED QUESTIONS THAT JUST BUILT UP AND I CAN'T BUILD ANYMORE! I JUST WANT MY MOM! HOW FUCKING HARD IS THAT!! 12:42 a.m. - 03-26-04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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