parkplace's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Is It Worth It? Listening To: End Of An Anchor by Dashboard Confessional This song really makes me want to write in here. Even though I have nothing to write about. I was supposed to see my mother today, but my father decided not to drive me to the hospital. I haven't seen her since a day after the accident and I long to see her smile at me when I enter her room. She will get better and I will be beside her 100% no matter what. It is so tough to see my mother like that. It is so hard. I don't know where I find the strength to keep going these past weeks. I seriously just want to throw in the rag and give up. I was talking to Julia today about how we both aren't motivated for anything unless we actually enjoy what we are doing. I don't have any motivation to live. I don't at all. We all survive to die in the end. What is it worth when you will be forgotten after you die? I miss her so much and I want to find a reason to keep on going and nothing is poping up in my head except for my mother. She means everything to me and she always will be. I love her more than any one I have ever loved and I am so very fortunate to have her with me today. Stuff like this really makes me look at life at a better angle and I hope it does to anyone who is reading this entry. But there still is that unmotivated fire in me and the only matches that will light it is in my mothers hands. Life is so fucking complicated and so annoying. I wish I could live without society and the burden of being a civilzated human being. 11:25 p.m. - 03-29-04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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