parkplace's Diaryland Diary

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Konstantine Kan Kill

Listening to: Konstantine by Somthing Corporate

Shit, I am on the brink of crying. I haven't listened to Konstantine in a while and I had a huge depression mood swing. And then my friend situation hit me. You know, the fact the my I miss being with my best friends every day and how they live in another town. The song is just making my mood worse. I feel so depressed right now. No, but it's like SERIOUS DEPRESSION. REALLY REALLY REALLY BAD DEPRESSION. All because of Konstantine. I am on the ufcking brink of tears. WHY DO I HAVE TO MOTHER FUCKING CRY!! WHY ME!!! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE FUCKING NROMALL MOTHER FUCKER!! AHH. I am so fucking sad now. Why does all of this have to happen to me. I juts came back from watching a movie with my friends Chuck, Sarah (with an H, dont worry, I didn't forget), Erica, and Heather. I had a wonderful time. I have meet great new friends. Then I get depressed. Why me?? FUCKING WHY GOD!!!! I hate myself so much. I'm so bottled up inside and I know that im going to feel depressed for a long time now. This is gunna last forever. Why me. Why can't I just be fucking normal, without the whole crying thing. Just thinking about anything gets me confused ad then I get depressed. I wish I could be a normal human being who can just be cool and not cry. Im a guy, and I cry. NONONNOONON!!! IT DOESN'T MOTHER FUCKING FIT PEOPLE! I need to write some more peoms or somthing. Anything to make me feel better. NOw im frantic. WHY ME WHY DO I HAVE MOOD SWINGS LIKE A ROLLER COASTER? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME! WHY AM I SO ANGRY!!!!! SHITTT!! Okay I'm going to write a lot in my journal and copy my poems and what not in it in a little bit> I need ot go write, it's the only thing that makes me feel better. And btw, life sucks SO MUCH! FUCK LIFE!!...

11:09 p.m. - 02-16-03

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