parkplace's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Overrated Seconds- 5/19/03 Created On: 5/19/03 2:12 A.M. Overrated Seconds The stars decided to not come out tonight, Allowing the moon to take the limelight and illuminate the ocean with its ominous gaze. So late at night. So early in the fucking morning and I am still awake with a blanket around my neck and tears falling from my eyes. The sudden flash of the lighthouse on the edge of the horizon always distracts me from my thoughts; Bringing me back to reality, Bringing me back to the ingnornace I play on myself. I am so fucking ignorant until the stars decide to hide. I see the real me whenever the tears fall from my fucking face. These fucking tears always gets me one way or another, They always win. I should just give in and let my sorrow engulf me and never let me go because thats what I deserve. I deserve every fucking second it still grasps me because that when I know I can't take it. Why don't I just die. Why don't I just stab myslef and watch the blood pour out of my body. When will be my last breath? When will I figure out the reality of this world because I have too many unanswered questions that always led to my demise. I don't believe that this world is real. It's too complicated for it to exist. It cant be fucking real. I am left here tonight to cry. And all I am is a boy who feels more than others do. That's what makes me differen't from all of you. It's because I actually have those perfect moments, Those movie-like scenes when everyone is staring at the stars, sleeping in sleepingbags ontop of an RV. When we are drinking Coke on a deserted subway train in the middle of the night and everyone is sleeping but me because I am the only one taking in the moment. I am memorizing every single second, every single bump on the track, every single breath I hear. Evey fucking second is so overrated until that last second before you die. Think about that fear of facing that last moment. That feeling that you have isn't even close to what I feel inside. Not even in the mother-fucking ballpark. And look, the lighthouse just reminded to look up. One star decided to come out and play... 3:04 p.m. - 05-19-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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